Catalina - Summer Awakening

Me with newborn Catalina

June 6th 2007

Day 3

Today is my niece Catalina’s 3rd birthday (Happy Birthday!!) and I have decided that I am going to blog about her, using portions of a journal entry I wrote on the day she was born. I’ve kept a daily journal since I was 14, and consequently I’ve been able to record special events, such as births. I’m either very clever or very foolish (or just lazy) to post an actual journal entry for the world to see; nonetheless, I am going to do this, particularly since my cousin Matt had previously posted an entry from his mission journal, and now I feel impressed and inspired. (A word of caution: my journal entry reflects the feelings I had at the time, but does not necessarily reflect my present feelings). So here goes:

Wednesday June 6th, 2007 - 11:23pm

 I know almost all of the details of today’s blessed event - almost all the details. For starters I know the full name of Josh and Karen’s new daughter: Catalina Jacquelle Case. No more confusion over the name, no more debates, no other names in contention. I find this name to be perfect, just right, beautiful and unique. I know the other details, weight and height: 6 pounds 11 ounces, 19 and ¾ inches long. The only detail that is sketchy for me is the time of the birth. I never got around to asking Karen or Josh about the exact time. Funny how that just didn’t come to mind. Josh Jr. mentioned the time as being around 10:50am and that Karen didn’t have to be induced. That’s right, he actually mentioned that, a seven year-old. Talk about being wise beyond his years. At any rate the birth was a blessed event because both mother and daughter are just fine. No major complications. And Karen looked extremely well for someone who just gave birth.

At work I got anxious anticipating the news. Then I got a message from Josh on my cell phone. I called him during my lunch break and got the full story. During this entire pregnancy I must admit I haven’t had the same level of enthusiasm that I had for, say, Jaimee. But listening to Josh share the news I felt very happy, joyous for him. I talked with Jordan for awhile, as we made plans for what to do. The plan was that I would go to the hospital with Jordan and Erin. I met up with Jordan at his house. Erin came home around 5 and we left before 5:30 to get flowers and cards for Karen.
 
 

Uncle and Niece

We were at the hospital just before 7, the new hospital that looks really nice, modern, trendy. We went to Karen’s room, where she was enjoying a nice meal, with Catalina next to her in a hospital bassinet. We took turns oohing and aahing over Catalina. So beautiful! And so tiny. I felt like she would dissolve in my arms. It was such a treat. Then Karen was moved to a different room and we followed. Settled in her new, beautiful and (most importantly) private room (!) more visitors came. We had a regular ol’ photo shoot with tons of pictures being taken. Gradually it got late and it was just Jordan, Erin and I with the proud parents and their new pride and joy. I felt languid, tired and on the verge of a shutdown. As beautiful as this experience was, I felt so down. Witnessing something I will never experience as my own. A rude awakening. A summer awakening.

The latter statement is what I am referring to when I say that my journal entry does not reflect my current feelings. One thing hasn't changed: I love Catalina and think she is a beautiful girl!