Letters From New York

Day 45

When my cousin Matt posted a blog about me on my birthday, he included a photo of the letters I wrote him during his mission in New York. I was genuinely touched that he still had these letters, and I thought it was cool that he arranged them for a photo; it inspired me to post about the letters my “soul cousin” sent me from the mission field.

I considered it a great opportunity to have someone to correspond with, as I never had a pen pal before. And this was a perfect way to practice writing a missionary, especially since my brother Josh left for his mission the same year that Matt returned from his mission, and my other brother Jordan left for his mission in 2001.

After Matt departed for New York I hit an all time low; unfortunate and painful circumstances prevented me from serving a mission and it became a humiliating, depressing, self-loathing time for me. I was weighed down with shame and disappointment, yet I was also trying to live for the present and move beyond the past. One pathway to my ultimate recovery and salvation stemmed from the letters I received from Matt.

Matt always had a way of cheering me up, with his humor, his memories, his spiritual experiences on his mission, his day-to-day reports, and his artwork. Matt is a truly gifted artist and writer, and he has bestowed the honor and privilege of sharing his drawings, his sketches, his stories and concepts with me, particularly while serving his mission. And he did some truly memorable drawings on the envelopes that enclosed his letters to me. I remember how excited I would feel when I saw one of these in the mailbox.

Matt shared his missionary experiences, the good and the not-so-good, the uplifting and the down-hearted. It was my hope that he would always feel comfortable in sharing anything with me, and in turn I felt very comfortable sharing my experiences with him; but I did my best to remain positive and supportive, no discouragement.

Matt kept my spirits up with his own positive and supportive ways, one of which was through humor. He shared several scriptures with me to look up and read on my own. But these weren’t necessarily “inspirational” scriptures, but rather “interesting” scriptures. The verses came from the Bible, and well, let’s just say that they aren’t really ever quoted in church or conferences!

I tried to replicate Matt’s warmth, wisdom and wittiness with my own letters and I hope I succeeded. I developed a great habit in writing Matt and I developed a great appreciation of receiving letters, good ol’ “snail mail.”

On a serious note, let me just say that I am so grateful to Matt for his letters during a difficult time in my life. He never judged me or made me feel worthless or hopeless and if he didn’t know it then I hope he knows now!