Family Reunion Friday

Day 71

Aunt Lisa and my cousins Eli, Sam, Brian and Kelli

Anhder Family Reunion ‘99: “A Delicate Balance”


The annual Anhder family reunion, once again held at my Uncle Kurt and Aunt Lisa’s beautiful home, on Memorial Day--May 31st 1999; here are some excerpts from my journal for that day:

4:25pm - Just like last year, I have decided to write in here while on the road. I figure I can save some time by doing this now - plus, I don’t think I’ll feel much up to writing when we do return home. It will be pretty late, probably close to 2 in the morning…

Mom jumps for joy with my cousins Kari and Sam

…Mom has had to contend with a very delicate balance, trying to please all of her family. But the bottom line is that you can’t please everyone. I’m still learning that myself. So, Mom did her best to please her family…

…this morning I tried to be quick about getting up and ready to check out. By 9:30 Jordan and I started taking things out to the car. There was an argument, which was kind of my fault. I had decided that I would check out and pay for the room. Dad had kind of asked me to pay for my room, which didn’t bother me at all. But Mom was upset about it. When I kept insisting that I would pay, Mom got even more upset. Fortunately the tension didn’t last too long, thanks to the family reunion…

Karen, Josh and Grandma Anhder

…the reunion of the Anhders kicked off around noon, which was when we had lunch. Soon we had more arrivals, as cousins Misty and Wes came, both who just came home from missions this year. Misty brought a boyfriend/possible fiance, and they sat in our little circle, which consisted of Josh, Karen, Matt, Kristy, Jordan, Jaimee, Daniel and me…

Jordan, Jaimee and Daniel

…we were all trying to balance conversations, so that no one would feel left out, specifically “new comers” Karen and Daniel. Josh and Jaimee were both very proud of their spouses, as they introduced them to the fold. It was important that our new family members felt like family members, so they were never left completely on their own. I have to wonder how this felt to them, being surrounded by strangers that they are obligated to become close with…

…last year I wrote about how I had a hard time trying to talk with others, how I felt like I couldn’t really connect with anyone, because I couldn’t relate to them. This year I didn’t feel this way at all. It was all very easy, very natural. I didn’t feel awkward because I wasn’t married. I didn’t feel like I was losing ground with my relatives, particularly Matt, who has been married for a year. This year the main concern was giving or allowing enough time to visit with everyone. I went from room to room, visiting or just listening in on other conversations…

…then it was time for us to leave. It was hard to leave when we all seemed to be getting along pretty well. No troubles or awkward silences. We made the same last minute covenants that are traditional when it is time to say goodbye - mainly, we just kept inviting everyone to come out our way. Hopefully, we’ll get some visitors this summer…

…the reunion gave us an opportunity to see some people we haven’t seen in ages (like cousin Brad) and to have a longer visit with those we have seen recently (like Matt and Kristy). The whole thing balanced out quite nicely.

Grandpa Anhder in his version of "The Straight Story"