The Apartment

Day 352

I hesitated about writing this particular blog post, but as I am literally just days away from completing this challenge I am pressed (re: desperate) for topics. And I haven’t been able to feel creative about any specific topic, even though I have several ideas. And then I browsed through some of my scanned photos, hoping for some sort of inspiration; it’s worked before, and it worked again this time! What a relief!

Anyway, the photos that I found were of my old apartment, and that got me thinking about my current housing arrangement. I don’t live in an apartment - I live…oh, here I go, about to humiliate myself and open myself to all sorts of retaliation and scrutiny. Ahem, I live…WITH MY PARENTS!!! There, I’ve admitted it. I’m a 36 year-old who lives in his parents’ basement. So, bring on the criticism, sarcasm, and taunts/jokes!

Now, I’m not completely ashamed of the fact that I live with my parents, as I keep reminding myself that I have actually lived away from my parents for awhile. But there is a negative stigma attached to living at home. I hear it all the time (usually on TV) - the disparaging remarks about some 30+ person living in their parents’ basement, and how pathetic, maladjusted, or just plain lazy that person is. Maybe you agree with that description, maybe you don’t.

Whatever your opinion is on this topic, I can accept the fact that this may seem lazy, strange, immature. I’m not going to try and defend my situation, like I have something to be ashamed of, because I feel that this situation is ideal for me and works for me, and I know that my parents love and support me and don’t view me as some kind of “hang-er on-er”.

The Greely Apartment - the living room

The Greeley Apartment - the kitchen

As mentioned before, I did live in an apartment once; actually, I lived in two different apartments. The first was back in ‘95, in Greeley. When my parents and brother Jordan moved to Colorado Springs, me, Josh and Jaimee stayed behind, and the three of us moved into a basement apartment. It was a really cool experience! The independence, the ability to have a place of our own, with our own rules and regulations!

The Greeley Apartment - more of the living room

We didn’t go wild and crazy, but we did enjoy having the ability to eat whenever we wanted to, to stay up as late as we wanted to, and to get up whenever we wanted to. Of course, we all had jobs (gotta earn money to pay the rent and other bills), so we were disciplined enough to not sleep too late or stay up too late.

I loved it! I loved having this little place to ourselves. To me, it felt like one big bedroom, with all of my books and videos and posters on display, along with items that belonged to Josh and Jaimee. And they were awesome roommates! Really!

Jaimee in our living room

When Josh left on his LDS mission Jaimee and I lived in the apartment for a few months, and then we moved back in with our parents in Colorado Springs. I started saving up money so I could go back to school, which I eventually did (although I never finished - that’s another post altogether!)

Anyway, years passed by and one day I just felt the need to have my own place. And then an opportunity arose for me that I had to take! My brother Josh and his wife Karen were living in an apartment and when their first child was born they decided it was time to move into a house. They found a house and got ready to move. With their apartment available (and the fact that they still had time on their lease left) I kind of jumped at the chance of moving in! Josh and Karen were so supportive and soon I was moving in while they were moving out!

The Colorado Springs Apartment -

the dining room and part of the living room

I was very fortunate to be able to move in to this apartment; since I was especially close with the previous tenants I had nothing to be concerned about, with regards to the condition of the apartment. It was in perfect condition when I moved in, and I was so thrilled to be able to just get my stuff moved in and get unpacked!

The Colorado Springs Apartment - Karen and Mom

watch as Josh Jr. practices his walk!

I lived in that apartment for over a year, and it was a great experience. I would visit my parents on the weekends, and I would be able to do my laundry (thanks Mom and Dad!) while visiting. The apartment was on the first floor, so I did have to deal with the usual sounds and noises from the floors above me, but for the most part there were no problems.

Josh watches Josh Jr. take a few more steps,

towards Karen in my living room

I enjoyed my time on my own, although I felt like I was wasting the kitchen, because I hardly ever cooked (aside from soup), and that was because I was (and still am) a picky eater, not because I was lazy!

When I moved back home it was in part because my parents had invited me, as they said I could save up money and possibly get into a townhouse. I like that idea, and I was happy to be able to live at home with family. While I did enjoy my privacy, I found that I still needed some company. I suppose I could have just gotten a roommate, but I have a lot of trust issues and I wouldn’t have been comfortable having a non-family member living with me. I never lived in a dorm when I was in college, so I never had the experience of rooming with others.

Anyway, a few years later when my parents wanted to move into a new house, I was able to help with the financing (using my savings), so I became a sort of part-owner, make that a part-part owner, or just like a small shareholder. At any rate, as it stands now I really love this arrangement. I have my privacy, but I also have the ability to hang out with my parents. And when my siblings and their families pop by, I can hang out with them.

I like doing things to help out around the house, not to say that my parents are invalids or anything like that. Absolutely not! But an extra set of hands never hurts, and I feel like we have all helped each other; we all have a role in the house, a purpose, and none of us is invaluable!

So, there you have it. Yes, I live with my parents, but I did used to live on my own. I’ve had the experience, and I am not opposed to living on my own again, depending on what the circumstances might be. Maybe I am pathetic, maladjusted, or just plain lazy. And if that is the consensus, then so be it. I love my parents, I love being able to see them on a day to day basis, I love that I am still learning things from them. I love that I can do things for them now that I wouldn’t have been able to do as a little child. Time is precious, time with anyone is subjective and vulnerable, and I know that I am particularly lucky to have this time with my parents while living with them.

I’ve lived in an apartment, but I prefer living in a home, and in a home filled with loved ones, with people I trust, with people that love me and never judge me. It really is “home sweet home.”